what is a kiss?

it seems like guys just kindof EXPECT you to kiss them...

i always imagined every kiss would be special and would be super cute, and yeah, i probably thought they would all be in the rain,too...

but now that i'm older and wiser, and have definitely had my fair share of WORRRRTTTHHHLLEEESSSS KIIISSSSSSSSSEEEEEEESSSSSS, i am going to change...

i've always told guys straight up that i'd prefer to kiss a guy if he was my boyfriend...
...but none of them listen...

SO! i am taking a different approach...

maybe i flirt too much, which therefore gives off the vibe that i am so called "easy" and they feel as if they can just USSEEE AND ABUSSEEE ME!!!!

thing is....i don't REALIZE i'm flirting...that's just how i AM! so...dilemma city....

and WHILLEE we're in dilemma city...i'd like to take you around the block to somewhere where i call single-town. i've lived here quite a while. why? because guys are jerks, and noone is willing to pay the price to live with me in HAPPY-VILLE!! k, i'm so done with this little analogy, but you get my drift...

so, why is it so hard to be happy for someone else when they have a brand spankin' new apartment in happy-ville?? uhh...

anyway, i have to come realize that i can definitely be happy for people in their successes, but it's ALOT harder when you're having a little failure in the same field....

whatever.

i want a boyfriend...
...a boyfriend that CARES and DOESN'T want "just a kiss"...


fml.