it was an early fall evening, cold enough to sense the changing seasons. however, it wasn't the cold that provoked me to sense change. the atmosphere was thick as we sat hand in hand watching the sunset. this wasn't the first sunset we had watched together, and i wasn't expecting it to be the last. the sunflower that he had picked for me now lay and lifeless beside me.
earlier that summer, it all began: the most memorable summer romance i have ever experienced. from the first moment we spoke, i knew this was going to be more than a summer fling. i knew he was different;he was special, and he would change my life forever.
summer nights have magic in the air. the first night we were to meet, just the two of us, seemed more magical than other summer nights. it felt as if we were old friends reunited. by the end of the evening, while gazing at the stars, we shared every memory, ever scar and every experience. as he stood up, his hand caught the edge of a bottle cap hidden in the grass. he showed me and i suggested, jokingly, that he keep it to remind him of me. he later made the bottle cap into a necklace that we would trade every time we saw each other. each time i remember the impending loss, due to the marines, i would be comforted by the thought that this was only a blink of an eye compared to the time that we would spend together in the future.
each time we embraced, i KNEW i was the luckiest girl in the world. he was every girl's perfect boyfriend; and I was his girlfriend. i felt like i was in a dream; as if this should be the standard of romance every girl searches for. my previously dull summer was turning into a dream come true. i recall the evening where we were laying in the street, still warm from the sun as it was setting. i will never forget the way he turned to me with that perfect smile saying, "you're not like any other girl."
as he caught me observing the lifeless sunflower, he must have noticed the anguish on my face. i felt as if my heart was becoming whole, but slowly breaking at the same time. he was slipping away and there was nothing i could do about it. i could not put my finger on the source of my anguish. i couldn't help but question everything; was i not good enough for him?
it was only a matter of days until he was to leave for the next three months. i knew his upcoming absence was not the source of my distress. i knew we would be together soon enough; it was something deeper than that. as we drove home in silence, after the sun had set, his hand seemed different in mine; they were becoming mismatched pieces of a puzzle. the realization set in that the sunsets we watched, the tree we carved, the kisses we shared were not adequately appreciated. i was complete with his arms around me. however, i could not have felt more alone as i hugged him for what i realized might be the last time.
weeks later, my birthday seemed like an eternity as i was constantly checking my phone, anticipating at least one phone call. as i prepared for bed, i knew that he wasn't going to call. just like that my heart was shattered into a million pieces.
he was gone.
i often wonder if he came into my life for a reason. looking back, i learned more about life, love, and myself. as i remember lying in the street that summer night, i recall not caring about anything but being in that moment. i learned to embrace every second and to absorb every detail in order to look back on memories fondly. i learned that life and love are not perfect. it's the imperfections that add depth and character. the imperfections cause butterflies and heartaches.
the most important lesson i learned that summer was that every person has the ability to make an impression on another person, that will last a lifetime.
