and that's that.

you wait your WHOLE life for your life to start. i waited for 18 years to graduate from high school. 18 years is a long time to wait for a 24 hour period of utter.....normalcy??? let's just say, the day of graduation WAS just another day-for the most part.

i kindof made a list in my head of all the days my life was going to all the sudden be amazing and everything would be perfect. graduation was probably the first, then moving to college, and getting married, etc.
thinking back, i wasted alot of time wishing things were different. this past year, i have accomplished so much more than i ever thought possible, and it makes me sad to think that i wished anything were different. i wished i was skinner, prettier, more tan, smarter, more popular....ya know...all that...
anyway, i've come to think that i'm pretty great! haha i mean, i might not be a size 2, and i'm definitely not a natural olive skinned beauty, but hey, i'm me and i'm glad that i'm NOT like anyone else!
k, so all of that just sounds really stupid...but it's true.

just another post...

ya know that cliche about how if you ever faced the person who did you wrong, you would know exactly what to say and then give them a huge slap in the face? well.....it's alot harder than it sounds.

last weekend, i had that experience. it's been about six years since the unspeakable events that took place, and i was SURE that if i ever saw him again, i would make sure he went to jail. okay, maybe not, but i really did just wanna punch him in the face.

i was at a concert with my brother and as we were walking, this guy pulled my brother aside and said something like, "hey! i know this guy!" and they did their stupid bro hug or whatever, and my brother, the sweetest guy ever, of course is like, "hey man! how are you?". all the while, i'm just standing there thinking, "oh HELLLLLLL no, that is NOT who i think it is."---and of course it was. he didn't even acknowledge my presence, except for the creepy smile he gave me after he realized it was ME, and not duncan's girlfriend. i couldn't even look at him in the eyes.

i stood there looking off into the distance, trying not to be too haunted by the memory that he left seared in my mind. if i would have had the courage to say something to him, i honestly don't know what i would say. how lame is that????
anyway, i'm still creeped out.


in other GOOD news, senior ball is this weekend!long dress or short dress---that is the big dilemma on my mind. oh and how am i going to do my hair?!! these are the things that i worry about. pathetic-i know.

and in SINGING news, i am going to california next week to compete! wish me luck! even though i don't need it..........kidding.

and in OTHER news, my hair is getting pretty long so that could actually be classified under FANTASSTTIICC news.

that's it.

life as i just found out it to be...what?

so i was recently informed about a whole bunch of "naughty" stuff goin' on around me on a daily basis. why did i not know about this?! oh i know, because i live under a rock called junior miss/singing. anyway, when i first heard about it, i was like "um are you kidding me? idiots! what is wrong with these people?!"

then it hit me...

i am SUCH a hypocrite. yeah, maybe not these days, but i've definitely had my fair share of slip-ups, lets be real.....
so, i am not the kind of person to just go around judging people for their stupid actions/decisions, but i am allowed to have an opinion, no? the things some people do are just not the things that i would want to be doing merely because it just doesn't interest me. end of story. go do your thing, and i'll still love you, but i'm not coming and i'm not endorsing it! fair enough?

well, whiiiiiile we're on the topic lets just discuss the whole issue of gossiping...okay, that doesn't really have anything to do with what i was just talking about, but somehow in my mind it connected.
gossiping is great, isn't it? i mean, you let your feelings out and it just feels so good to bash someone. and for real people, it DOES make you feel better about yourself. come on, admit it. kinda?! maybe?! sorta?! little bit?!

and then you remember everything you learned about in primary, like how it REALLY hurts you, and not them. or how about how it'll always get back to that person and you won't have friends. okay, first of all, i can argue BOTH of those.
point is, these days i've been workin' on my gossiping because the more i thought about it, i wouldn't want people talking trash about me! so, out of respect for other people---this is the MINIMAL respect i can give these people---i choose to refrain from harsh gossip.

let's just hope you're on my good side! ;)

kay, whatever.
make good choices! (: