hate to see you go, and hate to watch you leave

leaving josh...or josh leaving me was SO hard. one month. seems like nothing, right? WRONG. one month without a single word from the one i love. yeah, it sucks. it's day 5. kill me. 24 to go. ugh.

this is josh literally right before he walked into the security line...at 5 in the morning. i look awesome. but i love this picture. so josh. always adorable.

i love him so much! only 24 days til i get to see his not so nervous smile and feel his arms around me tight!!

efy kids. shoot them all.

i've always hated efy kids. today it's just more upfront in my mind because i had the nightmare of all nightmares last night. here's the short version. josh and i had just left our reception and had gotten to the hotel room. fast forward and use your imagination for the next 30 seconds of my dream until i hear something coming from the other room in our massive hotel room. i went into the other room to find STUPID EFY KIDS. yes. i know. i swear to you it is pushing it's way to the top of my list of the worst dreams i've ever had.

on another note, josh is leaving in 6 days. yes, 6. he will only be gone for a month, but what makes it hard is we won't be able to talk! i decided to be nice and go with him to watch him play volleyball last night. 3 things: 1. josh is good at all sports 2. he is better at everything than i am 3. he is really handsome. i wish i had pictures, but for some reason i either don't remember or i don't want my picture taken.

new goal: take pictures. 

but for now...this will have to do.......

for some reason, i feel like this will be appropriate for the next 5 weeks. 

kick rocks.

without disclosing too much about my personal life, this past week has been hard. i mean, really hard. things have been rocky, and it's the first time in 7 months that i have felt unsure about the future. things were scary, but at the end of every day, i realize what really matters: josh and me. even if we have our problems, the fact that we are willing to overcome them, and overcome them together makes us that much stronger. i love josh more than i did a week ago, and know that even when things get difficult, he will be by my side, holding my hand. when you are holding hands, you can never be too far apart. i figure that anything in the world that creates tension in my life can kick rocks. josh always says that and i think it's hilarious. this is where we went yesterday. we took a little road trip into the country. everything is so peaceful and life is so simple. that's the kind of life josh and i want to live. he is my cowboy and eventually we WILL live in the country.