one year later.

it was an early fall evening, cold enough to sense the changing seasons. however, it wasn't the cold that provoked me to sense change. the atmosphere was thick as we sat hand in hand watching the sunset. this wasn't the first sunset we had watched together, and i wasn't expecting it to be the last. the sunflower that he had picked for me now lay and lifeless beside me.

earlier that summer, it all began: the most memorable summer romance i have ever experienced. from the first moment we spoke, i knew this was going to be more than a summer fling. i knew he was different;he was special, and he would change my life forever.

summer nights have magic in the air. the first night we were to meet, just the two of us, seemed more magical than other summer nights. it felt as if we were old friends reunited. by the end of the evening, while gazing at the stars, we shared every memory, ever scar and every experience. as he stood up, his hand caught the edge of a bottle cap hidden in the grass. he showed me and i suggested, jokingly, that he keep it to remind him of me. he later made the bottle cap into a necklace that we would trade every time we saw each other. each time i remember the impending loss, due to the marines, i would be comforted by the thought that this was only a blink of an eye compared to the time that we would spend together in the future.

each time we embraced, i KNEW i was the luckiest girl in the world. he was every girl's perfect boyfriend; and I was his girlfriend. i felt like i was in a dream; as if this should be the standard of romance every girl searches for. my previously dull summer was turning into a dream come true. i recall the evening where we were laying in the street, still warm from the sun as it was setting. i will never forget the way he turned to me with that perfect smile saying, "you're not like any other girl."

as he caught me observing the lifeless sunflower, he must have noticed the anguish on my face. i felt as if my heart was becoming whole, but slowly breaking at the same time. he was slipping away and there was nothing i could do about it. i could not put my finger on the source of my anguish. i couldn't help but question everything; was i not good enough for him?

it was only a matter of days until he was to leave for the next three months. i knew his upcoming absence was not the source of my distress. i knew we would be together soon enough; it was something deeper than that. as we drove home in silence, after the sun had set, his hand seemed different in mine; they were becoming mismatched pieces of a puzzle. the realization set in that the sunsets we watched, the tree we carved, the kisses we shared were not adequately appreciated. i was complete with his arms around me. however, i could not have felt more alone as i hugged him for what i realized might be the last time.

weeks later, my birthday seemed like an eternity as i was constantly checking my phone, anticipating at least one phone call. as i prepared for bed, i knew that he wasn't going to call. just like that my heart was shattered into a million pieces.
he was gone.

i often wonder if he came into my life for a reason. looking back, i learned more about life, love, and myself. as i remember lying in the street that summer night, i recall not caring about anything but being in that moment. i learned to embrace every second and to absorb every detail in order to look back on memories fondly. i learned that life and love are not perfect. it's the imperfections that add depth and character. the imperfections cause butterflies and heartaches.

the most important lesson i learned that summer was that every person has the ability to make an impression on another person, that will last a lifetime.

flipside.

if you consider how much time we think about certain guys who we may or may not be crushin' on...

...and i don't mean like incessant creepy weird constant thoughts, but just like passing thoughts...

.......that's alot of time.......

so the question we all have to ask ourselves is....


....does he think about us, too?

i'm like 90% sure jake thinks about me......................

like a bird.

i realized that there's a point where you have to do what's right for you.
i know people say this all the time and expect you to think that it's something you've never heard before and change everything.

im not expecting anyone to find this new or interesting.

i'm just saying, alot of people might say it, but nobody really does anything after they get all excited it. right? right.

anyway...

i'm done with people telling me what to do.

ksodon'ttellmewhattodoandwecanstillbefriends. kthanksbye.

9/11.

you know those people you see on the street, and in your mind, you're judging them and making conclusions about their life before you even speak to them?

did it ever occur to you that the person wearing that hideous sweater, or being really annoying actually belongs to someone who LOVES them??

back up...ya know how people refer to their families as crazy, but at the end of the day, you love them anyway because they're your family?

well, if you consider how many lives were lost on september 11th, 2011, it should bring the point home that every single one of the people lost on that day, belonged to at least one person, if not a family who still cares for them, loves them, and every single day until today, mourn the loss of their loved one.

on the flip side, because of the events that occured on that day, soldiers are half way across the world sacrificing their time, their happiness, their safety, and ultimately their lives.

be grateful.

this is mike on 9/11 in iraq!

this is jake in iraq!

3 weeks later. op-ed. kinda. whatever.

While walking around campus, you will notice all types of people, styles,and attitudes. These personalities contribute to the diversity that is so proudly exhibited by the university. The honor code at Brigham Young University is outstanding in that it not only expects more of young adults than a lot of the world believes should be expected, but there are some rules that not even a conservative young lady like myself can come to terms with.
I am a full supporter of the honor code…until we breech the subject of individual agency. For instance, in the dorms, the visiting hours for men are on Sundays and Wednesdays between 7 and 9 pm. I find this extremely inconvenient seeing as the most common time to spend visiting with friends is typically on a Friday or Saturday night. I understand why the university has adopted this policy because of the risk that accompanies such interactions.
The qualifications for entry into Brigham Young University are extremely rigorous, which in turn implies that each student is very accomplished and capable individual. Therefore, students should be enabled to reevaluate the honor code to fit today’s lifestyle opposed to the era in which the honor code was originally published. Obviously there are aspects of the honor code that should remain, however, some rules are unnecessary.
Wearing a skirt over leggings must still touch the knee. Female students could obviously take disadvantage of this rule, however I feel as if the rule could be altered to where the skirt could be 3 inches above the knee. I see females on campus with jeans so tight that I start to forget how to breathe. How is this any different than wearing leggings, especially when the upper portion is not covered? The answer to the all questions about modesty according to the honor code, obviously have to do with respecting yourself and those around you. I completely agree with keeping ones self modestly attired; however in the present system there are loopholes.
In conclusion, I feel there should be a greater possibility for students to provide input relative to Brigham Young University’s honor code. Making this the case will empower students and make them feel as if they are a part of something bigger than themselves, rather than taking orders from a deaf administration.